Thank you to Eilidh Horder for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award.
The Sunshine Blogging Award works like this:
First, I answer 11 questions. Then, I ask 11 of my own questions to 11 bloggers who I go on to nominate.
1. Are you a cat or dog (or goldfish) person?
I always grew up with cats and still have a sot-spot for them, but I’ve come to love dogs just as much.
2. Would you tell the hairdresser if you didn’t like your new haircut or would you smile and give them a tip while you’re dying inside?
This is a good one, because I would do exactly the latter! I’m quite shy and avoid confrontation if at all possible to a fault, so if I didn’t like my haircut I would pretend I did (and I have done so more than once). To a certain degree it can’t really be “un-done” anyways…!
3. What’s your secret singing-into-a-hairbrush-as-a-microphone song?
There are so many good ones! I’m a sucker for “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel, “Lose Yourself” by Eminem, “3005” – Childish Gambino, “The Anthem” – Good Charlotte, and “Somebody to Love” – Queen.
4. Can you describe your most spiritual experience?
Lying on a beach, cuddled-up with my boyfriend and some friends, under the stars in the middle of the night on a camping trip last summer.
5. What’s your favourite line from a (favourite) song?
Again, I could list so many good ones!
“Put your arms around somebody else. Don’t punish yourself” Fink, Looking too Closely
“We’re all chasing gold. We won’t find it alone” – Dustin Tebbutt, Chasing Gold
“Seems the more I go leaving home looking for
What I need’s been buried in my soul
I can never see the sunrise too many times” – William Prince, Breathless
“And if life is really as short as they say. Then why is the night so long.” – M. Ward, Chinese Translation
“The older I get the more that I see
My parents aren’t heroes, they’re just like me
And loving is hard, it don’t always work
You just try your best not to get hurt” – Sasha Sloan, Older
“You’re a catalyst to your own happiness, you know” – Pumpin’ Blood
That it’s all about unlearning
A constant overturning
Of perfection’s dirty hand
I want truth
To carve a river through me
‘Cause life is not a movie
It’s a complicated dance” – Leah Nobel, Slow Burn
6. Do you have a ‘chill out’ toolkit: go-to rituals for yourself which help when you’re stressed?
I love this question! I have playlists on my phone for different moods I’m in to calm me down.
I have some friends on speed dial I try to reach out to.
I like to go outside and get fresh air or take a shower or bath to try and “reset”.
I have found stretching, breathing and mindfulness meditation or yoga to be helpful too.
I keep a box of scrap-booking supplies by my bed as well for something to do if I need a distraction.
7. What three things would you rescue from your burning home?
My cat, my computer (with all my photos and work on it), and a blanket my dad got in Mexico many years ago.
8. What’s your favourite smell and are there memories associated with it?
I can think of so many nice smells!
- I love the smell of vanilla and baking (it reminds me of holidays).
- I like the scent of fresh laundry and clean sheets.
- The smell of the pavement when it starts to rain sends me back to my childhood on the playground.
- Fresh-brewing coffee makes me think of cozy coffee shops or cottage vacations with my family.
- Nothing smells quite like fresh-baked bread either
- Fresh spring air after a long winter.
9. What word would you tattoo on your wrist?
I already have a tattoo on my left wrist of a serotonin molecule because SSRI’s might have saved my life! I’m thinking of getting a semi-colon on my other wrist but I’m not sure if I’d get a word. The only other words I have is a quote from Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata on my ribs and I don’t know if I’ll find something I like quite as much.
10. What are your greatest worries when you post a blog?
I’ll admit, I occasionally worry about people I know finding my blog and I wonder what they’d think but I try not to dwell on it! This blog is first and foremost for me, and regularly opening up, being honest and vulnerable has been really helpful for me. I’m grateful to have connected with so many insightful and supportive people on here (and on instagram) but I do occasionally still worry about the potential consequences of posting my “life story” online even though it has so-far been mostly positive.
11. ‘Speaking strictly for me we both could have died then and there’ is a line from a Joan Baez song (Diamonds and Rust). When was your ‘moment’?
I don’t know if I’m interpreting this question correctly, but rather than one particular instance where I felt like my life was threatened, it has been more difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that I spent years slowly killing myself in the depths of my eating disorder. You tell yourself that at some point you’ll hit a wall or finally have a “Eureka!” moment where you are confronted with the dire need to change (and I’m some people may experience this) but for me this wasn’t the case. Even a couple instances that could have been considered my “rock bottom” weren’t my wake up call. Instead it was a slow process of toying with the idea that there is so much more life to be lived than anything I could even imagine. It was choosing to believe that my existence wasn’t truly living at all and even though death is inevitable, I want to have truly lived first.
Speaking strictly for me, I gradually collected moments that lead me to the realization that I truly didn’t want to die.
- Marion – Peanut Recovery
- Em- From Famine to Feast
- Flowers in the Brain
- Vixxy Rose – Crazy Little Things
- Astrid – A Multitude of Musings
- The Musings of a fat Twenty-Two Year Old
- – Mommy Strong Tx
- MW – Perfectly Imperfect Me
- Joy Eidse – It’s Not Just You
- Sylvia Marcia
- Ginny Jonest – More Love
Questions for my Nominees
- What do you do when you’re having a bad day?
- What is one thing you are most proud of?
- Do you have any pets? Want any?
- What are three values you consider most important?
- What are some of your hobbies?
- What is one thing you would tell your childhood self?
- What is your favourite quotation?
- Where do you see yourself (what do you hope for your future) in 5 years?
- What is your biggest fear?
- What aspect of your life are you currently working on? (Work? Personal? Health?)
- What is a risk you took that paid off?