Note to self:
It feels like a lot of work because it is. It feels exhausting because it is. Don’t minimize what you’re doing for yourself.
It’s almost like raising yourself from scratch. It’s like starting over. It’s major construction, excavation and strengthening. It is a ton of work.
It’s taking your young self’s hand and guiding them through the hard times. It’s looking back and integrating your past and your present. It’s forgiveness. Its kindness and compassion. Accepting that many things can only be learned by making mistakes and by doing things wrong. It’s taking hindsight and moving forward instead of looking back. It’s opening old wounds once and for all so that the healing process can begin. It’s filling gaps with better things. It’s learning and unlearning. It’s integrating your past, present, and future selves, of which there are infinitely many, and it’s necessarily a lifelong process. But a worthwhile one at that.